Allyson was four years old and the light of our lives. I stayed at home with her, and we played all day! We were comfortable with our life and our family until one day, I really felt like we were not complete. I didn't feel like we were missing a baby or a pregnancy; we were missing a person in our family. That seems to be the only way I can explain it. Yes, we tried futile fertility treatments because, well, when you want to add to your family, you get pregnant right? I didn't even want a pregnancy. I've said before that I am so thankful for my fertility problems!
Eric came home one day and pointed out how foolish the fertility treatments were for us. It wasn't what we wanted anyway. We wanted to adopt. We had always talked about it, and now, it was time to act! I had talked to multiple agencies within 24 hours. I was nervous and excited.
We ended up signing with an agency who promised us a child from South Korea. It was and still is a very, very good program. We paid the application fee, but a few days later, after another agency called us again regarding a little boy, we were redirected to Kazakhstan. We didn't take the little boy they had a picture of, but we realized that South Korea wasn't where we were supposed to go. We lost the application fee and turned our hearts to Kazakhstan.
Honestly, the year that it took us to adopt Grant was one of the very hardest years I've had. I think I was so nervous about something that I could not control that I lost my focus. My focus became the adoption and only the adoption. NOT a good place to be. So glad I learned from this adoption so I could be better at the next!
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