The two weeks that Grant and I waited out before the bargaining began were just simply a time of bonding. I pushed two chairs with arms together to make a crib for him thinking he would feel more comfortable and safe in an enclosed space. He really wanted to just sleep with me. I was afraid if I started that, I wouldn't ever get him into his own bed. Yup, a mistake I see now, but we survived and he bonded well. He would poke his little head up from the "bed" and give me a sly smile then climb into my bed from his. Transitioning him to the apartment wasn't all fun and games though. He didn't sleep. When I say, didn't sleep....I'm not exaggerating in any way, shape, or form. He literally tossed and turned all night and chewed his thumb down so far that he had a huge, deep crevice that opened into one very nasty looking sore. This went on night after night. Kind of odd that a child who literally could not stay awake during our visits at the orphanage, couldn't sleep at all anymore when he was with me. Hmmmm......I think I have some ideas.
It was difficult for me to cook and feed him there as well. He was used to egg type gruel for breakfast with hot tea, and a soup with potato or noodle and possibly boiled meat for dinner at the baby home. A big treat was to get a banana! The meat at the Ramstore was difficult for me to purchase. The meat at the main market was even worse for me. Lots of meat hung on hangers where you pick your animal and they cut what you want. The little kitchen in the apartment didn't have a ton of pans and things either. "T" who was still there waiting for her court date due to problems with paperwork would lug the water bottles back from the store for me and found bacon a couple of times that was actually vacuumed sealed from France. It just looked better than the bacon you could find there. A package like that was like $12! I remember she made spaghetti with bacon a couple of times. Grant's breakfast would be oatmeal and hot tea. Lunch would be green beans and a potato. Not much in the way of protein. I was thinking we could just hold out for awhile and correct his diet better when we got home. I would prepare his food and carry it around into the dining room to sit down. It was a completely separate room and he didn't get it that I wasn't taking it away from him. The temper tantrums were incredible! REALLY loud! Fall on the floor and bang your head kind of tantrums!
In the afternoon, I would take him downstairs to a small play area outside. The other mothers would not make eye contact (a cultural thing) and would pick up their children and leave. Hmmm.....wondering if it was me or Grant. The children there were eager to smile and say hello though. They liked trying out their limited English. Two little girls in particular were madly in love with Eric. I somehow finagled my picture with them.
My two week wait was ground hog day all over again. A few times I would put Grant in his stroller with the sun cover on it and his hat pulled down around his head to walk around the river. Whenever I saw the police, I would calmly stroll the other way! My mind was playing tricks on me too. I thought I saw the judge walking at lunchtime on one of my strolls. Eric would have told me I was nuts and there wasn't anything to worry about at all. I was nervous about being stopped without paperwork as I had heard from other adoptive parents that they would stop you telling you there was a small infraction and a "fine" was in order. This never happened though!
Our phone didn't really work plus the land lines in Kazakhstan rarely work. Eric and Ally would spend hours trying to get a phone call through as would my mom. The times my mom did get a call through was around 3 AM her time! I could tell she was worried about me on those days. When I did get to talk to Allyson, I would try hard to not cry while on the phone with her. She had Daddy, Omi, and Grammy all walk her in to school on her first day. I missed it. She had a huge watermelon theme birthday party with friends and family. I missed it. She was happy to tell me all about these big events in her life. I'd listen, hang up, then cry. A good cry always makes you feel better! I was so thankful that "T" was still there to encourage me.
"T"'s court date, when it finally did happen, didn't go well. The judge denied the adoption. Appeals were filed. This is her story to tell, but long story short, she left Kaz. without her daughter. Close to 3 months later, she was able to return after another judge agreed to look at the case. After fighting very hard for her daughter, they were finally able to come home.
Those two weeks seemed like an eternity to me. The bonding time was the only benefit. But I still felt like I was sitting in Kazakhstan for two weeks doing nothing. I wanted so badly to have the court decree so I could start getting the rest of my paperwork together to leave for home.
